BudgetGourmetKitchen.com

The watermelon is a rare food that lies at the intersection of juicy and crunchy, satiating the full range between hungry and thirsty. Picked at its peak, it can be the sweetest bite of summer, but somehow blends beautifully with savory dishes like salty, barbecued pork. A food that exists in the crossroads of so many polarizing aesthetics has the power to unite palates from different cultures in a celebration of dribbling juices - the United Nations surely caters all its events with nothing but slices of succulent watermelon.

This spring, watermelon farmers across the country will till their soil in preparation for summer’s demand. While traditional watermelon farming requires lots of experience, the Budget Gourmet Kitchen has been busy reviving an arcane but simple technique for home-grown watermelons: bellybutton farming.

In classic bellybutton watermelon farming, the seed from a ripe watermelon is swallowed whole. The belly button is then exposed to sunlight for as much as six hours a day until the cotyledons - the first leaves of the plant - gently push their way out of the host’s navel.

Thanks to the constant warmth of the host, bellybutton watermelons can survive in a wide range of climates. It’s best to keep the leaves of the plant in as much sun as possible, but don’t worry about watering or fertilizing: for the next 70 to 90 days, depending on the variety, the watermelon plant will absorb a modest amount of nutrients and water directly from the host’s stomach.

There are two schools of thought regarding the proper diet for a bellybutton watermelon to flourish. One camp dictates that the host must have a diet rich in minerals and vitamins. No unpasteurized dairy products are to be eaten, for fear that harmful microbes promote premature decomposition. Nor is alcohol to be consumed, which could permeate the stomach-plant barrier and cause unwanted astringency.

The other camp recommends that no such severe changes of food-intake need to be made, and that the average diet contains enough nutrients for both host and watermelon. Furthermore, it is thought that the plant has an immune system fully capable of tolerating a moderate level of unpasteurized dairy and alcohol.

Once you have successfully grown and harvested the watermelon from your bellybutton, you’ll be happy to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Enjoy it fresh and raw after stuffing yourself with barbecued chicken, or blend it into daiquiries, or wrap it with prosciutto; the possibilities of this versatile fruit are endless. Eat it all on your own, or share it with feuding neighbors. In the right hands, ripe watermelon can mitigate civil unrest as easily as it consummates a family picnic. Just make sure you spit out the seeds, or else… well, you know.

Whether your backyard is a sun drenched farm or you live in a one-bedroom apartment on the tenth floor, growing your own herbs is easy and rewarding. Supermarkets’ high prices for rosemary and oregano become a thing of the past, and you can finally perfect your bouillabaisse and pot-au-feu when your bouquet garni is just steps from your stove.

The reasons go beyond convenience and money saved. The taste of fresh, homegrown herbs can invigorate your recipes and give depth where the dried versions fall short of that complete, well-rounded flavor.

The Basics

Rosemary, oregano, sage, thyme and mint can survive dry, hot, summer dirt, as well as damp, cold windowsills. These herbs are hearty and adaptable, not to mention ubiquitous in your recipes. All they need is a little dirt, a little water, and direct sunlight if you’re feeling fancy.

Given how easy it is to grow these herbs, not to mention the culinary benefits of having them fresh, getting these plants started when you move houses or apartments should be an urgent need. After cleaning the fridge, but before unpacking your shoes.

The Next Level

Basil, tarragon, chives, cilantro, dill, and parsley are more delicate in disposition, needing a bit of care to ensure proper soil and drainage. Without healthy sunlight, these herbs can be minimal producers.

But the pleasures of fresh pesto, homegrown cilantro in your carnitas tacos, and crackling chicken skin with lemon and fresh tarragon can convince us to kick the dog off the bed and coo our sensitive, potted herbs to sleep at night.

The Exotics

Many herbs don’t make it into the the kitchen nearly as often as they should. High prices and rarity can stigmatize them as “special occasion” herbs, but if you’ve got a garden and a decently green thumb (give or take a shade of brown), there’s no reason to not grow them at home.

Shiso, lemongrass, and hoja santa fall into this category. These plants are certainly not native to our backyard, but we’ll be working hard this spring to make sure our tom yum and mole verde have that fresh punch of flavor that you can only get with homegrown herbs.